When I was nearing my new beginning, the end of my drinking, I looked into AA. I was just around
the corner from a bar and there was an AA club between the bar and my home. You would have thought that I would take the hint, but no. It was about six months before my DUI that steered me to AA full time that I stopped by the club after having a few. I tried to sit quiet and I didn't understand a thing except the animosity this one guy showed me. Let's call him Tony, and he didn't want me there so he kicked me out and I went angrily home.
I was still behind the wheel then and I always gave him a good stare or laugh as I pulled into the bar.
He was built too, a broad shoulder and huge armed guy. Bald with a Goatee his reputation kept many people away from there I have heard.
After I had gotten my DUI and had been sober a while I stopped by. He was a lot nicer and shook my hand even, I tried to but I still couldn't really like him. Arrogance and Pride seemed to be his thing and I was not impressed. I saw him around his club for the next few years and even though we were not friends we were not enemies. I stopped by every six months or so just to say I made it that long and that he had to owe someone some money on that somewhere. He was also I found, one of the guys on the lease, one of the guys that gave. He helped keep that little club going out of his pocket, helped a lot of younger sobers and some older ones too.
He passed away from a heart attack at an early age out of the blue. He left a newly wed wife and a child behind and a lot of questions of why from a lot of people. This was a time when many were finding a higher power and this could either be good or bad for them as well. Myself, I had to say that I was deeply moved and disturbed. This passing of someone I barely knew was taking a toll on me I could not define. It was as if a best friend had passed away, and then I figured at least part of it out. He cared like I did, he knew my story, and he was a part of my life in more ways than one. Maybe it was the pride of I will show this guy, or just the atta boys as I passed time in the program. But it just came down to the fact that I didn't like the guy, I loved the person. You don't have to like someone but that doesn't mean you can't love em. I wanted what he had, he had friends and he was loved, but most of all he gave love. He gave it in his way and was ok with that, and here I was thinking I was so intelligent and he such the hick. Little did I know what I was getting while it was there, I am saddened that it took it not being there for me to notice.
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