Skip to main content

Stories


 When I was nearing my new beginning, the end of my drinking, I looked into AA. I was just around
the corner from a bar and there was an AA club between the bar and my home. You would have thought that I would take the hint, but no. It was about six months before my DUI that steered me to AA full time that I stopped by the club after having a few. I tried to sit quiet and I didn't understand a thing except the animosity this one guy showed me. Let's call him Tony, and he didn't want me there so he kicked me out and I went angrily home.
 I was still behind the wheel then and I always gave him a good stare or laugh as I pulled into the bar.
He was built too, a broad shoulder and huge armed guy. Bald with a Goatee his reputation kept many people away from there I have heard.
 After I had gotten my DUI and had been sober a while I stopped by. He was a lot nicer and shook my hand even, I tried to but I still couldn't really like him. Arrogance and Pride seemed to be his thing and I was not impressed. I saw him around his club for the next few years and even though we were not friends we were not enemies. I stopped by every six months or so just to say I made it that long and that he had to owe someone some money on that somewhere. He was also I found, one of the guys on the lease, one of the guys that gave. He helped keep that little club going out of his pocket, helped a lot of younger sobers and some older ones too.
  He passed away from a heart attack at an early age out of the blue. He left a newly wed wife and a child behind and a lot of questions of why from a lot of people. This was a time when many were finding a higher power and this could either be good or bad for them as well. Myself, I had to say that I was deeply moved and disturbed. This passing of someone I barely knew was taking a toll on me I could not define. It was as if a best friend had passed away, and then I figured at least part of it out. He cared like I did, he knew my story, and he was a part of my life in more ways than one. Maybe it was the pride of I will show this guy, or just the atta boys as I passed time in the program. But it just came down to the fact that I didn't like the guy, I loved the person. You don't have to like someone but that doesn't mean you can't love em. I wanted what he had, he had friends and he was loved, but most of all he gave love. He gave it in his way and was ok with that, and here I was thinking I was so intelligent and he such the hick. Little did I know what I was getting while it was there, I am saddened that it took it not being there for me to notice.



Comments

Popular posts from this blog

America - I'm Lovin' It!

Welcome to America.... Can I take Your Order? As this week begins, I am reminded again that the events and results from the previous year are trying to push themselves into this one. We are just short of that time when we permanently scar the buttocks of the nation with an asterisk and a question mark. When we hand over the government to those who wish to erode it away. Globalism made to order for a few, the people still a commodity being traded away in the most covert and overt of manners. I have written about the outright antagonism that the Russians have engaged in, the voting and manipulation of the American psyche. Breaking in to C-Span, dogging our cyber security and basically just laughing at us, we apparently are not going to do anything. There are others involved in this as well including our pals the Israelis, if there was a closer tie to another Super Power in this world we would be closer to China, but the Russians are working on them as well, so here we are....

The Cost of Living

In today's world that title is thrown out there to speak of a lot of things. The cost of housing, and food and electricity, you throw them all together and that is your penance. You must be responsible enough or dirty enough to succeed in covering your cost of living. Through hard work or in some cases none at all, people are programmed from the beginning to cover their costs. There is a price for living in today's world and the rest will be culled by societal natural selection. The fittest survive, the others struggle, while some just simply walk around in their meatsuits, the walking dead. That is our grand society, that is the nature of our success, we enslave from the get go. Program and pull levers to make our offspring just that much more efficient. The system has gone well for so long and it has produced some amazing success, but it is an old and unthinking model that allows nothing else to replace it. A conscription before they are even born, expectations created and a ...

With Slings of David

I have had this title sitting up here since November 10th. I had no idea what it was supposed to mean, though I didn't get rid of it for some reason. Was it some part of an idea or concept that already escaped me? Or one that was yet to fully come into clarity? I have no idea where this block is originating from, but it's reach feels somewhat gigantic. Mercury in retrograde may be a part of it, or an inner tornado of bile that won't settle down with the best meds around. Maybe it is just a huge denial system that got kick started like an atomic bomb? Maybe it is a huge realization and a betterment of my perceptions? Maybe it is a grief of mourning for what I once thought I knew, not only about my country, but about people as well? I don't know what to call it because it has not yet made itself clear enough to me. Thus I pick up the pen, or in this case keyboard and walk my way through this. It must have needed a crisp New Year, a new perspective to get something out...