I have had this title sitting up here since November 10th. I had no idea what it was supposed to mean, though I didn't get rid of it for some reason. Was it some part of an idea or concept that already escaped me? Or one that was yet to fully come into clarity? I have no idea where this block is originating from, but it's reach feels somewhat gigantic. Mercury in retrograde may be a part of it, or an inner tornado of bile that won't settle down with the best meds around.
Maybe it is just a huge denial system that got kick started like an atomic bomb? Maybe it is a huge realization and a betterment of my perceptions? Maybe it is a grief of mourning for what I once thought I knew, not only about my country, but about people as well? I don't know what to call it because it has not yet made itself clear enough to me. Thus I pick up the pen, or in this case keyboard and walk my way through this.
It must have needed a crisp New Year, a new perspective to get something out of me again. The events of the last few months escaping even my creative mind manipulation's into the rational. Normally when I recede into myself it is out of defeat and denial, not this time. It is truly different, it feels more akin to solidifying as a small crucible of my own of beliefs and emotions. While also enabling me to view the smaller variants around me with a higher clarity. While this may sound like a lot of pseudo spiritualistic bullshit, it is just one of those times of stiffening up your chin in life and taking care of some loose ends. In my case it has to do with the inside more than the outside, but I can't deny the outside doesn't need work too. My journey through this is not the reason for the title though, that was just some background from one of my minds talking too loudly.
I am an American, as redneck as the best of them and apparently can write well enough to get my point across at times. I am not a formerly educated person, I was blessed with a wonderful environment though which allowed me to teach myself. Turns out I was different in my learning style with my genetic blueprint, and it wasn't the material, it was the manner. I went into the Army, I worked in the Service Industry for over 35 years, I did what I had to do to get by. I drank and drugged with the best of them and sometimes the most famous. I am grateful to be here still, just shy of five years sober. I shoot guns, I like trucks, women, and a good tune from anyone. My connection to this colloquial state of Americana has not been lost, my love for the heartlands, my nationalism too.
So it comes down to the people who would steal my identity, the ones that define above all else, blame anyone but self, decry and demean anyone that slips from the mold. The only thing that's left is the complete definition. What succinctly makes some unworthy? Some not good enough to share even a portion of this dream, so it must be made a nightmare. Some have more so that means it is their fault you have less, of anything, including rational thinking. For people to lose something, really lose something that is theirs, they have to let it go inside, nobody can take that away from them. Everything else isn't a belonging anyways, it is just a comfortable extension of what folks believe to be something they can own. This isn't a dog show where you go around pissing on the things that you want to mark as yours, even though your piss is the freshest, there were plenty there before you, so don't ever forget that part. Piss on it right? Yet the very things being eroded are actually foundation pieces, so when the bubble bursts and people float on back down to reality again, They shouldn't be surprised if they have little to stand on. I guess the living room corner is now the new urinal.
I believe that is what the title suggested to me when I wrote it down a few months ago. This American, this small point of insignificance has congealed. A new perspective and new real battles, for real information is the new French Underground, reality be damned a mantra for those creating their VR America to broadcast to the world. We know who we are, we are actually the majority in my opinion, not those who voted but those who live here, legally or otherwise, antagonists and evangelicals alike. There is a new behemoth, a new Babylon to conquer and it will have to be done with truth, the hard plain, talk without limits truth. There is no more time for illusions and half measures in information, in compassion and for tolerance. With the mightiest powers in the world at their fingertips the Goliath that we have allowed to spawn will be brought down, not with mighty weapons. But with simple truths, undeniable truths, a million cuts, and with a people armed with nothing more than slings of David.
Maybe it is just a huge denial system that got kick started like an atomic bomb? Maybe it is a huge realization and a betterment of my perceptions? Maybe it is a grief of mourning for what I once thought I knew, not only about my country, but about people as well? I don't know what to call it because it has not yet made itself clear enough to me. Thus I pick up the pen, or in this case keyboard and walk my way through this.
It must have needed a crisp New Year, a new perspective to get something out of me again. The events of the last few months escaping even my creative mind manipulation's into the rational. Normally when I recede into myself it is out of defeat and denial, not this time. It is truly different, it feels more akin to solidifying as a small crucible of my own of beliefs and emotions. While also enabling me to view the smaller variants around me with a higher clarity. While this may sound like a lot of pseudo spiritualistic bullshit, it is just one of those times of stiffening up your chin in life and taking care of some loose ends. In my case it has to do with the inside more than the outside, but I can't deny the outside doesn't need work too. My journey through this is not the reason for the title though, that was just some background from one of my minds talking too loudly.
I am an American, as redneck as the best of them and apparently can write well enough to get my point across at times. I am not a formerly educated person, I was blessed with a wonderful environment though which allowed me to teach myself. Turns out I was different in my learning style with my genetic blueprint, and it wasn't the material, it was the manner. I went into the Army, I worked in the Service Industry for over 35 years, I did what I had to do to get by. I drank and drugged with the best of them and sometimes the most famous. I am grateful to be here still, just shy of five years sober. I shoot guns, I like trucks, women, and a good tune from anyone. My connection to this colloquial state of Americana has not been lost, my love for the heartlands, my nationalism too.
So it comes down to the people who would steal my identity, the ones that define above all else, blame anyone but self, decry and demean anyone that slips from the mold. The only thing that's left is the complete definition. What succinctly makes some unworthy? Some not good enough to share even a portion of this dream, so it must be made a nightmare. Some have more so that means it is their fault you have less, of anything, including rational thinking. For people to lose something, really lose something that is theirs, they have to let it go inside, nobody can take that away from them. Everything else isn't a belonging anyways, it is just a comfortable extension of what folks believe to be something they can own. This isn't a dog show where you go around pissing on the things that you want to mark as yours, even though your piss is the freshest, there were plenty there before you, so don't ever forget that part. Piss on it right? Yet the very things being eroded are actually foundation pieces, so when the bubble bursts and people float on back down to reality again, They shouldn't be surprised if they have little to stand on. I guess the living room corner is now the new urinal.
I believe that is what the title suggested to me when I wrote it down a few months ago. This American, this small point of insignificance has congealed. A new perspective and new real battles, for real information is the new French Underground, reality be damned a mantra for those creating their VR America to broadcast to the world. We know who we are, we are actually the majority in my opinion, not those who voted but those who live here, legally or otherwise, antagonists and evangelicals alike. There is a new behemoth, a new Babylon to conquer and it will have to be done with truth, the hard plain, talk without limits truth. There is no more time for illusions and half measures in information, in compassion and for tolerance. With the mightiest powers in the world at their fingertips the Goliath that we have allowed to spawn will be brought down, not with mighty weapons. But with simple truths, undeniable truths, a million cuts, and with a people armed with nothing more than slings of David.
I don't even know what to say lacking your ability to express myself, but this is such a profound look at our current situation.
ReplyDeleteYes, right now we are engaging in a pissing contest while our country and our values are being destroyed and as one of our Yabberz friends recently noted, there may need to be a measure of violence to take it all back. That you mention David and the sling is prophetic.
TY so much, like I said it is going to take time for me. But thank you for helping me through it. :)
DeleteI would say from your pen (keyboard) to God's ears, but not believing in that entity, I will instead say, bravo. Well written as always, my friend. I hear you.
ReplyDeletePeg Wargo
TY Peg, I am trying to break out of my funks. :)
ReplyDelete