Tempests Follow

 I guess I do not convey myself, or my meanings all too well. From jokes to assertions I sometimes have the worst luck in trying to convey something funny or important. I am learning more and more that in the public spaces I just have to be a mute for the most part. Just go along with the flow and don't make any waves and bury myself in the conformity of it all. The strange thing is that everyone tells me the best thing to do is just be yourself, but when myself comes out they want me to put it away again. Oh well, life is quiet, life is good, just sit still and do as you should. Prisons again...

Four Years today, one clap applause. Thanks for celebrating with me.

  I know what my previous post said, I wrote it. I may have to re-evaluate everything after the events of Sunday morning though.   In my meditations and prayers I am trying to find what my higher power is trying to tell me. I think that is a pretty common endeavor enough. I believe he sent a hammer this time to drive the point through to me. He sent it through my oldest friend on this planet, and it is scaring me to my very core.    Throughout my life I have had a "best friend" his name is Mike. I met him when we were just kids about two or three, I just remember him always being there. He had two brothers and I had all of my family, but since my brothers were so much older he was kind of like one too. Mike was always the kid that did the exciting stuff, his dad had guns, they scuba dived, they had boats. Now they were not well off in any manner, they just did this stuff. He was the tough kid and I was the big kid, so we kind of meshed together well. We were in cub...

  Well apparently my AA days are over. It is just not going to work out for me with that group of folks. They all mean well but could care less really, I am not a producer, I talk funny and have emotions.   I went to a meeting today and was in an absolutely great mood. Saw friends and said hi kind of smiling along the way. When it came time for announcements of annual sobriety "birthdays" I said I would have four years on the 23rd. There were a few one year old's and Mike with 11 running the meeting. When it came time to share he began with the one year old'd, cool, that was supposed to happen, getting a year is a big deal. When I was systematically not picked after that, I got a bit upset. No, I was pissed off, not another fucking year of this crap happening!   My first birthday was spent at home away from everyone else. I had just been elected president of the meeting hall that we ran out of. A separate non-profit organization that had no idea what that meant. Peo...

  At times my observances and whatnot of the way things are take on great analogies, I think my learning depends on them. There has always been word of the Tree of Life, that analogy fitting in perfectly with what any higher power that I would accept would define it.   As part of that analogy, I look at my life very much like a tree, that one is not new either. There is talk of roots and growth in most speech about self. This is one aspect about recovery that a pattern has developed in my experience and that of some of those around me.   I was debilitated during my early recovery from a blown out disc in my back. I was unable to work and having to go through the processes for the courts aggravated it further. Getting a little better after some time, I developed a gastrointestinal nightmare along the way which caused me to lose a quarter of my weight and a third of my muscle mass. 210 to 150 in a matter of a few months is not good. This set me back another year or so and...

  By this time each election year I am usually knee deep into a dozen discussions. I am taking a different approach this time around and it is paying dividends.   I am not jumping on anyone's bandwagon and I am not fighting for anything. I am a witness this time around and it is very informative. Since I am one to wants to know the big picture, what it all means, who are we? I like to write about the stuff that makes the fabric of America what it is, and I have seemingly had the wool pulled over my eyes by many.  Everything from bigots to feminists are surprising with their tactics, the choice between a political and a militaristic revolution is upon us. The division created by everyone moving in with their neighbors on these small screens carried over to the big screen and now life. Not only do we despise you, we can now say it loudly and forcibly to create outrage. Yes, the red and the blue were fine when it was kept to closed doors, but the stench of the rotted apple...

 Sometimes you don't have to meet someone for them to have a definite impact on your life. There are many examples of that in history and the world today. The thing that I am experiencing more now in my life is the intangibility of that inspiration, and the places where it comes from. I have, in my willingness been inspired by those I would have never even listened to before. From an 82 year old God fearing woman to the 17 year old punk kid.  There are of course those that inspire you with their story. It is right there that I find it funny in a cool and weird way that Marshawn Lynch and his story would inspire someone like me.   I am just an average white guy from Seattle, I have not lived even a sliver of the life that he has. Yet, as his history and his present combined in front of these eyes, I found kinship somehow. No, I could not understand much of the lifestyle and other things that made the man. I could not understand the behavior, or the antics at time...

          No, this is not a post about politics or terms.   This February 23rd will be four years of sobriety for me. I have been through a lot of life in those four years and none of it expected. I have also been through a challenging recovery in a number of ways.   AA means to be involved and inclusion, two words that took on different meanings for me after I sobered up. Being involved was not a problem, I am a person who thrives on doing and being of service. The inclusion part has really been the hard part, I still have to trust my gut and it is telling me that this is all still scary.  My trust in some people was above the norm and it was used to paint a completely erroneous picture of my character. There are many things that I do that would be associated with some problematic psychological makeups. The INFJ/ENFJ personality type though uses and does those acts for a different reason all together. I am not going to explain again here, le...

  I was posting on a commentary platform called Yabberz. It is non-partisan and full of people from both sides. It is a bit like trying to find a gumball on a playground at times though. There are liberals and cons and some decent reporting and writing going on, but mostly just posting links to certain articles.  Now I certainly am on the left hand side of things these days and for most of my adult life, but I will vote for the candidate. On this commenting site though there is a glaring process going on and they would do well to nip it in the bud before they can grow any more. The process is lying, downright lies, blatant and directed. There is a whole system in place bent on disinformation and lies. The right predominantly uses it but there are some from both sides.  It is not like they do not know they are lying, they have to be genuinely mad to think that some of this is the actual truth. It has been repeated so many times though they feel comfortable with the thoug...

   There are patterns in everything, Phi - The Golden Ration 1.618..... is the numerical foundation for our existence it seems. There are patterns to speech as well and my oldest brother would probably be amazed at me for putting some thinking into this field. His "gift" it seems is linguistics and I am sure we share much of the mimicry and intonation abilities. It is within those parameters that speech and certain words sometimes mean a completely different thing to me than others. Thus, while in the midst of this grand attempt at understanding the opposite sex a little better. While we make the world a fair and balanced place, inclusion a law of freedom. I am going to point out those things that hit the scales from this side a little less than fair and balanced. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phi   This morning Megyn Kelly was on Good Morning America. I have long thought that ABC was going that route with it's reporting slant, so it was no surprise really. While disc...

  With Cruz beating out Jabba the Trump last night in Iowa and Rubio doing almost as well in a close third, I have to ask. Was this actually a Cruz and Rubio victory or a stinging rebuke to the man who would be king?   The pundits got it wrong again with their "polls" on Trump and Iowans appear to have been classically Iowan. The thing to remember about Iowa though is that is does not reflect the majority, in fact to use it as a true indicator would be foolish. They had to have something and they get to talk and caucus about the fields first is all.   No matter what your thoughts are about Iowa and the whole election system, they did the world a favor. For when they did not vote for Trump and made Ted Cruz the winner they voted for America and I dare say the world. This is Trump's first defeat of any kind in the media and by the voters. He is feeling the burn of a different kind this morning, that of being a loser. We all know his thoughts on that issue now don't we...

  This never ending election cycle that has grown with the 24/7 information age has done it's damage. It is no longer a question of if it will, it already has, this skew of "candidates" is proof of that. The popularity of Trump damning evidence that we are indeed going in the wrong direction.   I have to admit I was fascinated with the coverage of the first Gulf War by CNN in the early 90's. War, live on TV, who could top the ratings for that? We were being the Americans that I grew up being, helping out a country or ally, even if there were ulterior motives or ambitions.  It was about that time that I was sitting behind a 286/386 computer and was equally fascinated that I could find information on some of the things going on. The Cold War over but still warming up to a modest 20 below.  The pastel revolution that brought us into this new age was doing it for all of the right reasons in their hearts. Little could be known of the content of humankind and the eff...