So, I have written on the number of issues I have had with this recovery, this changing of life quite literally. I have written on the HSP issues and the point that I learn differently and think that way too. The introvert and the sensitive, the naive and wise. There is the point that I am a writer of words, and an unfulfilled desire to get them out. I have really figured part of it out, when I speak I don't communicate well. When I write, I am the person that my head tells me I am. Those damn social anxieties that come stock with the model show up at all the wrong times. There is the do no harm mantra as I ply my way to the surface, and another unfulfilled desire to know what it all means, the why's, and the to what ends?...
One of the thoughts that went through my head over the weekend was to put it all together. Since this HSP nature happens to only 16% of the population I thought I would start there. The Big Book does well in addressing the different types of natures found in alcoholic drinking. It does well in noting a lot of our denial and validations, our natures and our nurtures. Having been written in 1935, I have to say it was well ahead of it's time in speaking of emotions, of fear, of manipulations.
It does well in addressing all of that but falls short on a few major areas that people seemingly have a need for these days. When it was written, people were being brought all the way back into society, into homes and jobs and success that was infectious to the members. Today with the sheer numbers and manifestations of recovery all over the country. The job more and more is just to pull them out the gutter long enough so they have to choice. Of rolling over and drowning in two inches of filth or standing up. That's it, nothing more...Once sober it is perfectly fine for people to dislike you for yourself, to not be honest to you, talk behind your back. You're in society again! Kick, kick, kick... Penny....
Up until now it, this, all seemed like such a selfish narcissistic endeavor. If I can find a way or even a thought to bridge a lesson, a way of looking at all of this. Maybe it may help someone like me or who can relate to me, in the future? Like I said, I have some amends to do and being sch an introvert is not getting that done enough in mine and many others eyes. Perceptions though, maybe this is why my higher power gave me this writing ability, this talking to my minds with little bent and curved lines. Bridging the part of the Big Book that maybe get's unseen in all of the action of it all.
That people are different and the formula for one may work on another, but in entirely different manners. The helping may be hurting, the thought process may be different. That should probably be the first question asked of a sponsor, if they are an extrovert or an introvert? What is their style? You can't teach everyone the same lesson the same way. Genetically we are as different as the type one alcoholic to the type five, our brains are fundamentally different in how we learn and work, think and see, decipher and examine. I know myself, I would not be here if I had a John Wayne book thumper hounding me when this all started. I am not sure if I ever got any of this either with so many people trying to fix me. I can't tell them I am different either, that would need an acceptance that they just cannot understand or want to accept.
One of the thoughts that went through my head over the weekend was to put it all together. Since this HSP nature happens to only 16% of the population I thought I would start there. The Big Book does well in addressing the different types of natures found in alcoholic drinking. It does well in noting a lot of our denial and validations, our natures and our nurtures. Having been written in 1935, I have to say it was well ahead of it's time in speaking of emotions, of fear, of manipulations.
It does well in addressing all of that but falls short on a few major areas that people seemingly have a need for these days. When it was written, people were being brought all the way back into society, into homes and jobs and success that was infectious to the members. Today with the sheer numbers and manifestations of recovery all over the country. The job more and more is just to pull them out the gutter long enough so they have to choice. Of rolling over and drowning in two inches of filth or standing up. That's it, nothing more...Once sober it is perfectly fine for people to dislike you for yourself, to not be honest to you, talk behind your back. You're in society again! Kick, kick, kick... Penny....
Up until now it, this, all seemed like such a selfish narcissistic endeavor. If I can find a way or even a thought to bridge a lesson, a way of looking at all of this. Maybe it may help someone like me or who can relate to me, in the future? Like I said, I have some amends to do and being sch an introvert is not getting that done enough in mine and many others eyes. Perceptions though, maybe this is why my higher power gave me this writing ability, this talking to my minds with little bent and curved lines. Bridging the part of the Big Book that maybe get's unseen in all of the action of it all.
That people are different and the formula for one may work on another, but in entirely different manners. The helping may be hurting, the thought process may be different. That should probably be the first question asked of a sponsor, if they are an extrovert or an introvert? What is their style? You can't teach everyone the same lesson the same way. Genetically we are as different as the type one alcoholic to the type five, our brains are fundamentally different in how we learn and work, think and see, decipher and examine. I know myself, I would not be here if I had a John Wayne book thumper hounding me when this all started. I am not sure if I ever got any of this either with so many people trying to fix me. I can't tell them I am different either, that would need an acceptance that they just cannot understand or want to accept.
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