In a few weeks I am going on a Men's Retreat with my brother. It is billed as a spiritual retreat of sorts, and this years theme is the eighth step.
"Made a list of all persons we have harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all."
There is a certain amount of acceptance and tolerance that one must have with themselves and others to do this step. I see it lacking much of the time in the program and in life in general. There is a spirituality gap, and empathy wall that even the best of folks seem to have a hard time climbing. It appears to me during many times of examination that belief in something also brings about a good deal of denial of other things. I don't think that is what the God that I believe in wanted, at least not for me.
Now in the last few years my spirituality and understanding of these things have grown exponentially. My belief system formed a solidity I had yet to experience in my life, I believe in God. Not your God, or their God mind you, not some already written about God. Simply that God that I believe in wants what is best for me, wants me to live a good life. Do not kill, do no harm, a Good Orderly Direction. Take it all in, either God is everything or he is nothing...
I am definitely blessed to be able to examine these things in my life and aspects of it in others. I don't think other people get the chance or have the ability to step outside of themselves to the degree I am able to. In climbing into the depths of my own psyche, I have found parts that are leftover cancers from an earlier time. In climbing outside of myself I have found parts of myself that were simply never added, overlooked or in a melee to be ignored or destroyed. I listened to people who did not understand me, I didn't listen to God.
You see in steps six and seven, they both stipulate that God remove these shortcomings, all of these defects of character. What I am seeing in so many cases is a full on blitz to do the work for God, to tell people what their defects are and how to fix them. I have to say that I have had that happen to me all my life, my entire freaking life. "He just needs someone to be hard on him," "He just needs to grow a thicker skin," "He's too soft, he isn't man enough," "When will he grow up?" It turns out that those very things are what God intended for me in the first place. What part of steps six and seven can't you understand? We are different, a defect to you could be a needed tool for me to live my life. Why are so many trying to fix things they don't understand? Break them down and rebuild them? Where is their faith? Where is their empathy, compassion, tolerance and acceptance? Looks like a gap to me, maybe even a chasm.
Bill Wilson did a great job in describing the various kinds of alcoholics and their dysfunctions. The psychological breakdown of the addiction itself, the games we play with our heads. For 1935 that was a heck of an enlightened piece of work there. The thing he didn't have access to is the upcoming work done on the different natures of the people themselves. The underlying mental illnesses and disorders, but also the the different types of just regular folks. The great majority of this very functioning planet is made up of vastly different "regular people."
Extroverts, introverts, type A personalities and B types. From the gung ho soldiers to the care free artists, the doers and the thinkers the players and the fans. The overriding theme God has going and has been pretty adamant about has been people are different. He hasn't started tossing out rubber stamped babies yet, so why the confusion? This happens in every group of people it seems, a standardization and a settling. A set standard of what it means to be this and that, part of this crowd and part of that one. Religious and non-religious, political and even groups of best friends do it. Standardize, set rules, push out, accept, and sideline people, all in the name of some greater good, a better fixing, a get normal-er.
The challenging of a fixed set of beliefs is also the nature of us. This evolution of our mindsets comes at great costs, great losses and also with great leaps over gaps and chasms. The evolution of us human beings is continuing and with it the understanding of our very natures our very personal natures. In that belief system that goes forward I hope that denial of aspects of his will for us is not lost in the blitz to fix all, at all costs, in his name. The Japanese call it Kintsukuroi, where it is considered more beautiful having been broken and mended. It requires acceptance to allow others to make that leap of faith over the spirituality gap. Their amends to make, to themselves, and their higher power. It did say all didn't it?
"Made a list of all persons we have harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all."
There is a certain amount of acceptance and tolerance that one must have with themselves and others to do this step. I see it lacking much of the time in the program and in life in general. There is a spirituality gap, and empathy wall that even the best of folks seem to have a hard time climbing. It appears to me during many times of examination that belief in something also brings about a good deal of denial of other things. I don't think that is what the God that I believe in wanted, at least not for me.
Now in the last few years my spirituality and understanding of these things have grown exponentially. My belief system formed a solidity I had yet to experience in my life, I believe in God. Not your God, or their God mind you, not some already written about God. Simply that God that I believe in wants what is best for me, wants me to live a good life. Do not kill, do no harm, a Good Orderly Direction. Take it all in, either God is everything or he is nothing...
I am definitely blessed to be able to examine these things in my life and aspects of it in others. I don't think other people get the chance or have the ability to step outside of themselves to the degree I am able to. In climbing into the depths of my own psyche, I have found parts that are leftover cancers from an earlier time. In climbing outside of myself I have found parts of myself that were simply never added, overlooked or in a melee to be ignored or destroyed. I listened to people who did not understand me, I didn't listen to God.
You see in steps six and seven, they both stipulate that God remove these shortcomings, all of these defects of character. What I am seeing in so many cases is a full on blitz to do the work for God, to tell people what their defects are and how to fix them. I have to say that I have had that happen to me all my life, my entire freaking life. "He just needs someone to be hard on him," "He just needs to grow a thicker skin," "He's too soft, he isn't man enough," "When will he grow up?" It turns out that those very things are what God intended for me in the first place. What part of steps six and seven can't you understand? We are different, a defect to you could be a needed tool for me to live my life. Why are so many trying to fix things they don't understand? Break them down and rebuild them? Where is their faith? Where is their empathy, compassion, tolerance and acceptance? Looks like a gap to me, maybe even a chasm.
Bill Wilson did a great job in describing the various kinds of alcoholics and their dysfunctions. The psychological breakdown of the addiction itself, the games we play with our heads. For 1935 that was a heck of an enlightened piece of work there. The thing he didn't have access to is the upcoming work done on the different natures of the people themselves. The underlying mental illnesses and disorders, but also the the different types of just regular folks. The great majority of this very functioning planet is made up of vastly different "regular people."
Extroverts, introverts, type A personalities and B types. From the gung ho soldiers to the care free artists, the doers and the thinkers the players and the fans. The overriding theme God has going and has been pretty adamant about has been people are different. He hasn't started tossing out rubber stamped babies yet, so why the confusion? This happens in every group of people it seems, a standardization and a settling. A set standard of what it means to be this and that, part of this crowd and part of that one. Religious and non-religious, political and even groups of best friends do it. Standardize, set rules, push out, accept, and sideline people, all in the name of some greater good, a better fixing, a get normal-er.
The challenging of a fixed set of beliefs is also the nature of us. This evolution of our mindsets comes at great costs, great losses and also with great leaps over gaps and chasms. The evolution of us human beings is continuing and with it the understanding of our very natures our very personal natures. In that belief system that goes forward I hope that denial of aspects of his will for us is not lost in the blitz to fix all, at all costs, in his name. The Japanese call it Kintsukuroi, where it is considered more beautiful having been broken and mended. It requires acceptance to allow others to make that leap of faith over the spirituality gap. Their amends to make, to themselves, and their higher power. It did say all didn't it?
Comments
Post a Comment