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Long Distance

Sometimes the world seems a million miles away. When all of a sudden you are transported to some place you don't know, debilitating lonesomeness sets in. Where all of your screams have no hope of reaching anyone's ears or mind. Cold like the wrecking of nerves that start in the middle of your bones, and profoundly joyless in your search for anything familiar, anything of light. The searching goes on, unaware that the direction may just be leading you farther from the light. You don't know, there is no marker and doing something is just a way to keep from giving up completely, knowing that to stop is to die, most completely. Is it a dance? is it a stroll? Whatever do you do when stuck in the dark, where there are no feels and everything radiates cold. The warmth of a some kind of path quickly lost to the icy wind of doubt and fear, of mistrust and lack of faith in much.
  Losing and gaining, the trade is not always of equal value or the timing of it makes it worth a little less than it could have been. The noticing of naivety and of stupidity dripping from those attempted paths, those lessons you really messed up. The world full of hotplates, your only option is burning. It is painful to realize that yours is not the life to be fulfilled, to be the one that is OK. Yours is the life of pain and struggle and questioning. Too bad I am a million miles away, maybe I could get an answer when I needed one.

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